um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
