I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You pole danced in your parka.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
