guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
