ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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