i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
