She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
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Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
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i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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