one two three fourrrrnication!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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