Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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