sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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