I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
