I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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