my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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