Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
