you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No more Irish car bombs ever.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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