i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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