she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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