Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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