Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
