i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
