thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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