Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize