So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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