I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
