I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
