69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just puked most of my soul out..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
