she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
