I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
