So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
