so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
This toilet bowl is my home.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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