yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
