If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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