M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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