she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
