I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
