sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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