Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
