Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
