after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize