I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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