If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
