I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
