end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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