You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize