idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
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you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
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The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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