Swine flu. Run for my life!
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
