soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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