North Korea, Best Korea!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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