he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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