I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
