turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
