Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
