I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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