Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
