had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
