I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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