butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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