Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize