i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
