I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
