if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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