i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
