the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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