Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
